Merge Sort

Hur hur hur.

I laughed coz it’s a nerdy joke. Hope you got that one.

It’s also funny that my previous post (from a year ago) mentioned something about merging my blogs into one.

Coz I’m thinking of another type of merging too.

Not too different. More like becoming whole.

Whoa, that just went deep.

A few months ago I launched an account named “Bits of Kharisma” in Instagram, followed by Twitter and Youtube of the same name.

I wanted to be coy, cute, cuddly and sometimes sexy without being judged too harshly coz you know, “Kharisma” is just an alterego.

Yeah… I’m kinda over that.

It eventually got boring. No, boring wouldn’t really describe it.

It got… too narrow, I guess.

It was great. And awesome. And amazing for a time. For a shy nerdy girl to give herself a secret outlet of exploring creativity, sexiness and many intense and delicious things I have never tried before.

The world of beauty, and makeup, and being seen. It was addicting to a point.

Yet, I wanted to be safe. That at anytime, I can go back to just being plain and nerdy. That at its first negative remark, I can purge this identity and go back to the safe side of NOT being seen.

I was seen, yes. Just not completely. Just not entirely me.

I love makeup. And being pretty. And creativity. And looking so good in Instagram and outside of it.

And…

I am an engineer who loves C++ and math, drools over gadgets and works in teaching robot cars to drive.

I fangirl over both Jeffree Star and Bjarne Strustroup (creator of C++).

I attended makeup workshops while scribbling notes in a gadget, an e-ink notebook.

I am both and much more.

I sing karaoke. I shoot photography. I am learning bellydancing, sewing and more. I love gardening. And I am a certified coach.

“Kharisma” was not me. Just one side of me. It got too narrow and it became boring to only have that.

Soon, I will be pointing everyone back to my personal accounts.

If people are to see me, let them see everything.

I am who I am, merged from all identities. Just sorting my life.

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